Mythical in Tunisia

Tequila is the sweetest invention ever. We made a visit to her ranch, a friend of ours, and we were hit by surprise at the immensity of the property, acres and acres of verdure, a swimming pool in the midst covered for it is not yet the season of stripping and plunging, a little stable, then a veranda, a well-arranged table, and our host at the doorstep. I am not a fan of aristocracy and I have always feared the world of the affluent people; in early age, I was a Marxist but Marx, Lenin, Trotsky and the Che betrayed me in an alleged opposing Tunisia that uses politics to earn a living and fill pockets. At an early age, I learned that principles and beliefs are not enough if we cannot trust each other and if we betray each other all the time.

The middle-class from which I originated and to which I belong learned me how to respect bread and how to fight to get others’ respect and never bow before misfortunes. I had a grand-pa who used to work 16 hours per day to feed and educate his 10 children earning hence the respect of his superiors at work and all those who knew him. The second grand-pa has worked as a farmer all his life and when he retired, he opted for moving to the city; whenever I look in his blue-like-sea eyes, I know that he regrets leaving his world of greenery to the world of cement and asphalt. Two families that struggled to survive; two families that paid their lives for a portion of bread. They survived; we survive…

Our host, twenty-seven years old, has made it to the top on her own, a respectable woman who got the chance to pursue her studies in the United States; now, back to Tunisia, she has launched an immense and ground-breaking project in cooperation with foreign partners. The prevailing cliché in our society puts in the picture that LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual) people are failed personas who cannot come up to scratch. In fact, the Tunisian society believes that LGBT community is made up of reserved, traumatised and upset people who suffer their whole life and live in isolation failing to play important roles in society or holding top positions. This belief is utterly fallacious as most of the members of our community I have met are well-educated, intelligent and well-to-do. Most of us, actually, fear to recognise their difference and go through a psychological trauma in the beginning; yet, once they become familiar with their sexual reality and tendency, they begin living a balanced and unruffled life.

In Tunisia, two important problems may complicate the situation for both the LGBT community and the rest of the society. The first quandary is that of the legislation as our constitution takes in an article on sodomy that may cost gay and bisexual couples three years of imprisonment. In the case of lesbians and bisexual girls, the legislation remains ambiguous and no cases have been recorded till today. The Tunisian legislation is far from being the principal element hindering the liberation of the LGBT community, as the main problem is that of the mentality. The legislation in Tunisia has actually progressed more than the mentality itself. For instance, the liberation of women has been advocated and boasted by the governments of both presidents, yet, the patriarchal practices are persisting as the society keeps on regarding males as chiefs and heads at all levels. The problem hence is not only a problem of legislation but also a problem of social awareness and activism.

The second quandary is that of the absence of an LGBTT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual Tunisia), an organization or an association meant to guide and instruct the members of the community. An LGBTT can open the path towards the assistance of this community so as to go beyond any problems. For instance, an LGBT member today find it difficult, notably in the beginning, to recognise his/her difference, find answers for his/her questions, know ways to meet other members of the community. The frustration may lead some to clash with straights and the results of such clashes are always bitter for both. A lesbian Tunisian girl, whose name is Sondes (28 years-old) has once told me her bitter story. Being unable to find assistance and to understand her attraction to girls, she forced herself in a marriage hoping that things may change; the marriage ended with divorce. Sondes was unable to stand the presence, the gestures and the acts of her husband; she tells that the worst moments she lived were those when she went to bed with him. To try to overcome the pressure at that time, Sondes says that she used to receive some girls at home during the absence of her husband. After the divorce, Sondes says she feels liberated, as she has regained a kind of an emotional balance; nevertheless, her husband is suffering the separation; he lost his job; and is isolating himself from the rest of the world. Sondes also has two children that she struggles to bring up alone.

As our existence is ignored totally in Tunisia, our community has become mythical attracting more and more curiousness on the part of many straights who look up for us on the net and die to meet one of us. Straights think that their attempts to come within reach of the LGBT may add to their experiences, but the approach is always controversial and may lead to a clash because of misunderstandings and the persistence of clichés.

I absolutely like mixing with members of our community in Tunisia for their gatherings represent an important premise to launch up dialogue and interaction. The moments we spent at the ranch of Miss… were fabulous; our host did the necessary to get us out of the atmosphere of the sometimes bitter situation. Tequilas served at sunset rendered the most emotional moment of the day more and more emotional; the sun was going down but I felt my spirit rising up somewhere in the heavens dreaming of liberty. Liberty may come someday; someday when I will certainly be in a grave; someday when my future sisters and brothers will taste a fruit that I have been deprived of, the sweetest fruit that a human may taste: LIBERTY.

-Faithinlove-